Waluigi Leaves Nintendo over Smash Exclusion

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This year's E3 may have been filled with exciting previews of upcoming titles, but it was also rife with its fair share of controversy. None was more shocking than the revelation that beloved gaming icon Waluigi was to be excluded from the roster of the highly anticipated Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Fans were outraged and took to social media to make their opinions known with #WaluigiforSmash, #JusticeforWaluigi and #WAHrriors becoming rallying cries. However, none were more disenchanted than the creator of Waluigi himself, Fumihide Aoki, who in protest decided to revoke all of Nintendo's rights to the character and take him elsewhere. He cited “false advertising” as being the key component in his decision, claiming that the game's tagline Everyone is Here! clearly excludes Waluigi, as he is simply relegated to assist status. In the wake of this unprecedented move Nintendo President Tatsumi Kimishima has issued a public statement concerning the companies stance:

We are all relieved here at Nintendo to see that Waluigi has finally released us from his much undesired presence. He has long been an embarrassment to this company and his inclusion in previous titles has left a shameful mark on our history of otherwise fantastic decisions. If it were possible I would remove him and his large unsightly nose from every game he has ever been apart of, but alas the damage has been done. At least now we can all finally begin to heal from the great humiliation this purple imbecile has brought upon us and perhaps one day we can forget as well.
 Our source managed to snap this picture of the Nintendo HQ at the exact moment of the announcement.  

Our source managed to snap this picture of the Nintendo HQ at the exact moment of the announcement.  

While the veracity of Mr. Aoki's claims are admittedly flimsy at best Nintendo has made no effort to take legal action in regards to ownership over the Waluigi character. Indeed it appears that this entire incident may have been orchestrated by the company in the first place in the hopes that something such as this would occur. An inside source tells us that cheers of elation and other celebratory antics were heard from Nintendo headquarters in Kyoto, Japan at the time Waluigi's departure was announced. The very next morning crates of Waluigi merchandise were found to have to been discarded onto the curbside outside the building. In regards to fan outcry Mr. Kimishima seemed equally unconcerned.

He stated, “Such people are not welcome in the Nintendo family and clearly stand in opposition to Nintendo's mission of wholesome family fun in all of our gaming endeavors. Any individual who would support a creature as vile and grotesque as Waluigi would have to be deranged to a magnitude as of yet unknown.”

As for Waluigi's future, some game companies are already willing to give him a second chance at the career he never really had. Big names like Activision have already expressed interest in incorporating Waluigi into their Call of Duty franchise, with CEO Eric Hirshberg stating, “Honestly, we have literally run out of ideas and are willing to try anything at this point.” Concept art for the entry has already been leaked.

 Working title:  Call of Duty: World at WAH

Working title: Call of Duty: World at WAH